“I ask a lot of questions. It can get me into a lot of trouble.”
Drinking gives me the confidence to do and say things I might not do and say otherwise. For instance, my partner and I had been friends for a while, but it took a couple of glasses of wine for me to get the courage to let him know I was into him!
I started drinking in my mid-teens, mostly at parties. These days I drink at least once a week – maybe wine with dinner at home; or mixed drinks or cocktails on a night out. On a special occasion like an anniversary or an engagement I might have eight or more drinks. I rarely drink on my own.
I drink to enhance the occasion. If I’m the only one of my friends who’s not drinking, my night isn’t as much fun. I’ll definitely dance more if I’ve had a few drinks! I’ll enjoy myself more, and I’ll laugh a lot. I’ll feel more confident about having a voice in a group, when otherwise I might be afraid to look stupid if I speak up about something!
I also drink to relieve stress. If I’m stressed, the alcohol affects me a lot faster than usual. Within my group of friends it’s often the case that we’ll want to “get smashed” to get over a hard week at work. Is that normal drinking? I don’t know. Possibly not! I think a normal drinker might just have wine with dinner and not drink much during the week. I might go for a few weeks without drinking, for whatever reason, but then have a huge binge-drinking session with a group of friends. Other weeks I might have a glass of wine every night with dinner, but not drink on the weekend.
The down side of drinking for me is when it causes me to make poor decisions. I’ve lost a friendship due to excessive drinking: we had an argument, which was exacerbated due to alcohol. I said some horrible things, which I later tried to take back; however, the damage was done and a five-year friendship ended.
I’ve also stayed over at places where I wouldn't have had I not been drinking. While I was never forced into a situation I didn't want to be in, my judgment was sometimes clouded.
I no longer drink as much as I did when I was younger. When I was about 18 or 19 I would drink eight vodka mixer drinks before even leaving the house for a big night out. I would then have at least four more drinks wherever we were going – a club, or bar, or party. I didn’t think anything of it, until two friends spoke with me about it. They said it wasn’t normal to have so many pre-drinks. I felt really ashamed. After that I started to drink less before we went out. I’m not sure how effective it was, though, as I most likely made up for it later. However, their comment made an impression on me.
If I do have a big night out I definitely feel depressed the next day. As I get older I find it takes longer to get over the hangover “depression”. It’s extremely hard to do any exercise when I feel like that, and the day is basically a write-off.
I think that those reasons contributed to my reducing the frequency of my big nights out and the amount I drink. I don’t think I need to stop drinking, but I’d like to reduce my intake further, mainly so as not to feel depressed the next day.
—Ava, 27